Wedding Blunders


wedding blundersJust side-step those wedding-day blunders

By John Folding

If you are planning a wedding, then you have heard all of the horror stories. The photographer lost the disk of pictures, the cake fell over, the groom passed out on the altar … the bride passed out on the altar.

Bottom line is that there are so many moving parts to a wedding that an “issue” is going to happen. But there are several ways you can avoid most common mishaps and stress-producers. The secret is knowing what those things are that will cause you the most heartburn. Here’s a breakdown by key player:

Bride
The dress
Will it fit? One of the most terrifying things a bride considers is whether her gown will fit the day of the wedding. There are tons of tips to help avoid this, but there are really two biggies: Hire a reputable seamstress and be careful what you eat and drink the day or two before the wedding. Watching what you eat and drink will not only help you avoid feeling like the dress doesn’t fit, but also boosts your confidence because you feel good.

The photos
There is but one real record of the day’s events and that is the photography. There’s really not much control a bride has over this on the big day, so be sure you hire a good one!

Mother of the bride
The guest list
There are so many traps the bride’s family can fall into related to the guest list. Is there a good mix of parents’ friends and brides’ friends so the bride will feel like it’s her day? Are the groom’s family and friends represented appropriately? Making sure the mother of the groom assists with the guest list and is involved with this part of the planning will go a long way to future good relationships.

The reception
Will there be enough food and drink? Will everyone have a place to sit? Will the flowers or decorations be pretty and what we ordered? Will everyone behave? Will the weather cooperate? Hire a professional wedding planner to coordinate the wedding. Part of the planner’s job is to point you to reputable, reliable vendors who know how to plan a wedding.

Father of the bride
The cost
If ever there was a time for a family to communicate well, it’s while planning a wedding. It is imperative that everyone is as transparent as possible so the budget — not to mention feelings — isn’t trampled.

Mother of the groom
Feeling included
It is so easy to make the groom’s mother feel special and included. This is especially important if she doesn’t have a daughter. Goodwill can be created by including her in a couple of important highlights along the way. For instance, make sure she’s invited to all the showers. Include her in planning the guest list.

So, after reviewing the things that cause stress, here are some ways to avoid them as much as possible. First of all, NEVER scrimp on these things:

• Unless your best friend from college is a professional photographer, it’s probably not a good idea to have her take your wedding pictures. Aside from that, you’ll want her to be your guest, not a vendor at your wedding. No matter if she insists and says she wants it to be her gift, don’t do it. instead suggest that perhaps she can document your showers or bridesmaid’s luncheon.
• Ditto for the cake. Cakes made in a home kitchen will more than likely not handle being moved from the kitchen to the venue. As an alternative, have your baker friend make something for the rehearsal dinner.
• Avoid the temptation to overspend — on anything. If you are out and see an adorable pair of earrings, don’t buy eight sets for the bridesmaids, especially after you’ve already bought them a bracelet, a necklace and shoes. It’s just not necessary. The best way to keep from overspending is to make a list of things you want or need and stick to it.

This last bit of advice may seem a bit self-serving, but it’s important. Spend the money and hire a planner. I can’t tell you the number of moms who have several daughters who tell me they wished they had hired a planner for their first daughter’s wedding. A planner is your go-between for all of the vendors you’ve hired. Instead of making 14 calls, you make one to the planner and he handles most of the stress for you. He (okay, or she) has coordinated dozens and dozens of weddings and knows how to handle just about everything. And if he can’t, he can find someone who can. Most planners have “day of” or “wedding weekend” packages that (for a very reasonable amount) literally let you, the mother, be in two places at one time. And the one place you really need to be is by your bride’s side, not at the venue worrying whether things are getting done.

Do yourself a favor, hire the right people and the day will be a breeze. And in the end, if you are having fun, your guests will, too — even if there is a wedding issue!

Folding, owner of John D. Folding & Associates, is a guide, consultant and collaborator for weddings and other special events. (228) 243-3271.